Source of My Problems

I've been thinking about the source of my problems. I've realized it's how uncomfortable I am with myself. Once other people sense how uncomfotable you are, it makes them uncomfortable as well, so they don't wanna hang out with you. I mean I wouldn't like to hang out with a person like myself either. I like people who are pleasant to talk to too. That's right, I'm not pleasant and fun to talk to. In fact, I'm the total opposite. I don't know how to make eye contacts. When I'm talking to someone, all I'm paying attention to is eye contact. I keep thinking the timing of eye contacts. That makes others uncomfortable, that's why they don't wanna be around me.

I don't blame them. It's my problem not theirs. I seriously don't know how or what to say to others. I don't know how to be myself. I have a self that I don't like. It's easy to say if you wanna like other people, you'll have to like yourself first. I understand that logic, but I don't know how to like myself. I'm not always thinking that I don't like myself. I just end up acting that way. Now it's a habit, and I don't know how to change it.

I don't like to end my posting with a negative feeling about life. So I'll say that no matter what happens, I'll keep trying to overcome my problems.