Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Not So Good

I was nervous all day today. I don't know what's making the difference. The only thing I did different was that I had coffee this morning. Once I read somewhere that caffein make depression worse, I didn't believe it. Is it true after all?

I even thought that my life was horrible and not worth living. I used to think like that a lot. I know I'm being negative again and I shouldn't be doing that. It's hard to stay positive when positive things don't happen to you, and you don't know how to make them happen. Sometimes I just feel I'm losing it. Losing hope that I'll ever lead a normal life.

Anyways, I can think like that one day and I'll try to come back onto the track again. Well putting it down this way actually makes me feel better. I feel like releasing my negativities. Blogging is great.

4 comments:

Lula said...

I'm so sorry you're having a bad day-never give up hope, YOU are worth living.

I gave up coffee about 6 months ago, and I have noticed a slightly less anxiety. Maybe you could switch to tea?

I hope you feel better.

spacedlaw said...

That is a lot of negativity to be hidden is a small cup of coffee.
Do try to not let it impress you: life isn't so bad.
Sometimes, it just pretends it is, but like any bully, if you call its bluff, you can laugh in its face.

Dan H said...

I know exactly what you are going through. I have felt at times, especially recently, that life is not worth living. I have felt that desperation to just have a normal life. And then other days I see more clearly, and realize that it is definitely worth it, and that maybe normal is overrated. This is what depression does to you, it distorts life so that you can only see the bad. You are on the right track, though, it really does help to put it down in words and to communicate what you are feeling. Nothing helps more than to find someone who you can talk to about what you are going through.

Miyonao said...

I couldn't agree with all you more. Deep inside, I know life is worth living, but at times I just can't help thinking it isn't.