Beijing...

Most polluted air in the world?? At least the worst I've ever seen in my life. You see buildings 200 meters away in the frog. It's that bad. It's beyong your imagination. But what're you gonna do...

The government is well aware of the air pollution throughout the country. I've also been told that during the fast economic growing period of Japan, its air was heavily polluted as well. So I suppose this is just what every developing country has to go through.

Here I am in Beijing looking for a job... Is this what I want and what I came here for? Well, I don't even know what I want anymore. Most Chinese people live their life and work their jobs because they have no other choices. Fortunately and unfornately for me, I'm the one Chinese who can choose to live in China or other countries. Saying "fortunately" is because a lot of Chinese dream of what options are available for me; saying "unfornately" is because that's the reason I'm so confused. I don't know what to choose. I don't know what is the best for me.

BUT... I did choose to come here, my own country, the country I've always loved, the country I've missed. So whether it's good or bad, now I do kind of feel I'm stuck with it anyway. There's no turning back or turning away. I've just got to work with whatever is available in here.

Anyways, looking for a job is no fun. Working a job could be even worse. But that's what I'm gonna do in Beijing. No choice is left.

Well, that doesn't sound very positive, does it? Let me try this way.

* I will find a job in Beijing that I enjoy doing.
* I will be confident and do fine at the interview.
* I will use "slow talk" tenique during the interview so that I won't get too nervous.
* I will use my own languages to describe my qualifications and experiences to the interviewer as trying to use difficult words only make me feel more nervous and clumsier.
* I am making the right choice.
* Though there might be many difficulties, but in the end of each day I'll still feel that I like what I do.
* Good things won't happen overnight. I will keep up with what I do everyday (including searching for jobs and sending resumes, yoga, sit-ups, reading The Ants Handout, listening to "Overcoming SAD relaxiation tape," etc.).
* Life will be good as long as I won't give up with what I do.

Be postive, be enthusiastic, be nice and considerate to others, smile...
Go to bed early, get up early in the morning, keep doing what I have to do...

Positive, positive, and positive!