Attention Drawer

I'm so afraid of being in the center of attention. But I only hate it in daily life situations. On the other hand, I love to give presentations, speeches, or even sing in front of a lot of people. I know it's weird, but it's just the way I am.

A beatiful and nicely dressed girl draws attention from men on the street. That's just the way it goes. But it's that attention on the street freaks me out. I'm not knock out or anything. I'm probably 6-7 out 10 points if being rated. I know how to dress though, and I enjoy being fashionable. But I'm very uncomfortable with any attention I draw from public situations. Yeah, I guess I could dress down and not put much make-up on. In fact, I don't even put make-up on since I arrived in China. As for my clothes, I usually don't buy crappy cheap clothes. Maybe I should give up all nice clothes and go buy some cheap ugly ones...?

Chinese men can be rude when it comes to checking out girls. I'm not talking about educated ones. I'm talking about those I see in a market and on the street. Some are selling vegetables, some are construction workers. I'm talking about them. They literally stair at you!! Sometimes I wanna punch them in their face! Of course, in reality, I never say a thing to anyone.

I once told a friend that I wish I were uglier. I meant it. That way, I won't get anyone's attention. I'll only get one guy's attention who falls in love with my personality not the way I look. That's what I want.

Maybe I really should go buy some Chinese standard plain clothes...