Where to Find the True Happiness

What a great day! The ski tour was fabulous! I enjoyed every minute of it.

It was my first time to ski. It turned out to be a nightmare in the first round. Almost as soon as I started sliding, I fell down right away. I fell at least 5 times in the first round and also crushed into someone else. Fortunately, no one got hurt. Then with a coworker's instruction(she overheard(purposely, so smart) from a paid instructor who was teaching someone else), I learned how to stop sliding(by spreading the back of your legs). I told the girl who was skiing with me how to do it, then we were both on the right track. We learned how to control sliding. Kept repeating sliding and stopping without rushing to ski faster. Since our progress was very obvious each time we try, it just got more and more fun to do it. To go up the hill, we could have the lift to take us. But we chose to walk up because of the long line and to save time. You don't get tired to ski. You get tired by walking up the hill!

Just as I started to be able to control the speed and not to fall down, a guy behind me crushed into me so hard that his whole leg ended up on top of my waist. Well, don't worry. We were both okay, but it was scary. Thought he did it on purpose...but realized later that he was really new too. hehe...

Practice makes it perfect. Although we were far away from being perfect, at the end of the day we could ski in the beginners' course without falling down for once. After we learned how to control sliding, we also figured out how to control directions. The more we did it, the more control we were able to have. In the beginning, when I was about to crush into someone, I would panic and then really did crush. But at the end, in that case, I could calmly just stop sliding. The difference was obvious. I was so glad that I could make a difference more quickly than I expected.

I can't tell you how great it felt. We were both sorry that we had to leave. On the way back, we were already talking about when we should all go again. I can't wait to go back!

What we found interesting about skiing was that you don't actually learn how to "ski." Anyone can slide and go forward when they get on the skis. The first thing you learn is how to stop; the second is to learn how to conrol directions.

Also, fear is the biggest barrier. Whenever I was afraid, I either fell or crushed into someone. Fear is the enermy of all sports or marshal arts, isn't it? Learning skiing or any other kind of sports seems like a mental challenge to overcome your fear. I enjoyed that challenge. Maybe we could say the same thing to a lot of things we do in life. Overcoming fear and nervousness is a life time challenge. At least for me it is true.

I'm the kind of stubborn person who likes to figure things out by myself. Some of my coworkers learned by watching others or by listening. Certain things you'll take ten more times to master than learning from an expert. Good for me that I spent all my time with another coworker(although she was also a beginner) and we shared our learnings and information.

I almost forgot my headline was "where to find the true happiness."

I had spent all my life looking for happiness from outside. When I decided to go to college in US, I was hoping to become happy there. I also tried satisfy myself with material things, as much as I thought I wanted and needed. Like what's being said in the movie Fight Club, "you work a job you hate and buy the junk you don't need." That was exactly what I did. My happiness was no where to find. I failed miserably. I still was the old me(if not worse) who was misery, hate to be around other people; who had no confidence and little self-esteem. After spending so much time looking to be happy from the outside world, I've finally come to the realization that...

To find happiness, you need to look no further. All you need to look is what's inside of yourself.

I am happier than ever now and feeling like I'm getting back the old me(as a child) who was confident and happy. Buddhism is helping a lot, really. I absolutely love it. Now I've got a coworker who's interested in Buddhism, hope we'll go visit some temples and museums in Beijing. It'll be so much fun!

A little bit early, but Happy New Year to everyone! Hope all of you are able to have the inner peace and true happiness...