A lot of times, I can tell that I'm more in love with "love" than the man. The wonderings, doubts, confusions, passion, hope and the desire of getting to know the person are the ones occupying my mind and making my heart beat fast. And sometimes I'm not so sure whether I'm really in love with the man or not.
Don't we become blind when we fall in love because we're more in love with "love?" And that's preventing us from seeing the truth and facts about the one we think we love?
It seems like true for my past relationships anyways...
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7 comments:
Miyonao, Hello!
I arrived here via Shadow (Verena), on whose blog you commented. You are very honest in your blogging (I looked back through a few).
I am a recovering alcoholic.
You are so young.
I am 75 yr old violinist.
I suffer also from "in love with love" stuff.
And so, being older (read: more experienced!) I'm sorry to tell you that this "love disease" may well follow you AND break your heart into little pieces for many years.
Don't know why I'm writin this to a total stranger (you're not even an alkie!) except I AM, so there!
Maybe I just wished for you to know you're SURE not alone in your humanity (feelings, emotions, etc.) and that men can suffer from the same malady (not ALL men do, BTW), most men I know have but ONE, yep...JUST one thing on their minds 99.9% of the time.
At my age, sex is not on my mind continuously, but I DO love being hugged, I love being loved, I love 'loving'! I believe it boils down to PRIDE, EGO...that necessity to be recognized, to be so honored with another's attention and affection. Maybe it stems from insecurity, I'm not a psych-doc.
Terrific book, written by Anthony De Mello (WARNING: He's a Jesuit priest! -grin) THE WAY TO LOVE. It is about $7 on Amazon.com and I am NOT a reader, but this one gave me a new outlook of life, on love.
If we knew each other better (at ALL?) I'd send you a copy.
BTW, I AM married--happily, mostly--
and so I'm not out to "getcha", OK?
I just am a believer that we humans each can help each other in 'living' better, and coping, and if blogging and commenting is the way--so be it.
Sincerely,
Steve
Thanks for visiting, Steve. I've also left a comment on your blog. I'll see you around.
With absolutely no intention of establishing a dialogue, Miyonao, I see myself here again. O well-sigh!
I noticed one of the 'interests' in your profile is "low self esteem".
One time a fellow told me (when I suffered with that problem--and it still does rear its ugly head now and then...) that if I "..ACT OUT the symptoms of radiant happiness, my depression/low self esteem will vanish."
So I tried it. Overnight, nothing happened. But after a couple weeks' practice I felt overall improvement
And today, some years later, I have to be nearly tied down, because of enthusiasm and utter joy and peace.
Again, I have not a clue as to why I'm writing this now to you.
Tomorrow I will give an AA talk @ 9:30AM to a group of strangers (all recovering Alkies, though!) and I intend to use you as an example of my own battles with certain desires, longings, etc. No names, of course!!! No Blog addresses or ANYTHING, OK?
Again, if we never correspond again, that's OK...just two ships passing in God's night.
Steve
Naples FL
aaah, the attraction to the feelings of being in love. i'm guilty... love those feelings. the rush, the excitement, the unknown.
Shadow, I think you can put these feelings into beautiful words much much better than I can. Wish I had the same talent...
Steve, I have a good news. My low self-esteem is getting better. I've been happier these days with the help of Buddhism practice. And you're welcome to tell anyone about me and my blog, I'll be honored. I'm writing a blog to keep a diary and for other people to read(to practice English too). Friends are always welcomed.
I know the feeling too well....has led to many bad relationships in the past. But I wouldn't trade any of my bad experiences, they have made me who I am today. I'm still a firm believer in taking a chance-and isn't true love about being a little bit blind anyhow?
i think this all the time! it's a real trip trying to think and analyze what/how i really feel... love isn't logical though so it's hard!! i also ask: do i really love HIM the person or him, the ideal? i think it's similar.
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