"Monsters" -- Do Not Hold me Back

Hi all. It's been a whlie since last time I wrote. I've missed blogging.

My cousin's son was sick. When he's sick, I know we're all likely to get sick too. I've been careful since last time I got virus from him. But I still couldn't avoid it. I almost threw up in the train the other day. That was scary. I wouldn't possibly accept that fact how embarrassing that would be for me.

I had a day off yesterday and was sleeping all day. I'm feeling much better today.

For some reason, my cousin's baby always wakes up in the middle of the night(right before dawn) and cries. As usual, I was woken up by his cries the other night and had a hard time going back to sleep. Then some of my bad memories flashed back to my mind for no reason at all. Almost like a nightmare. Sometimes, I feel like those memories are like monsters trying to hold me back while I'm trying move on. I can be very happy at a time, but I don't know when those monsters come back to haunt me and destroy my current life. It's that kind of feeling. I wish they would just disappear. I want to move on. I don't wanna look back. I want them to leave me alone.

Someone has said that one's past is one's future. I hope it won't be the case. I want a brighter future than my past.

Well, actually it's not that much a big deal as it may sound. Usually those "monsters" are quiet as long as I keep myself busy. Fortunately, I am busy right now.

Other than that, I keep doing my physical exercises and affirmation statements every morning. I'm happy with them. Now I feel I need them. If I didn't do them one day, I feel something is missing and different. For my reading exercises(affirmation statements), I've added "37 Practices of a Bodhisattva." My fellow blogger Norbu introduced to the Chinese version of this piece, and I loved it since the first time I read it. Thank you so much Norbu!

(You can refer to this website for the English version: http://www.kbi.com.au/cgi-bin/engine.pl?Page=page.html&Rec=69)

You all have a great week!