Capital Museum, Beijing China

Last Sunday, I visited the Capital Museum with three coworkers. An amazing experience that was beyond my expectation. I somehow invited the right people without knowing beforehand that one of them was also interested in Buddhism like me. Not just Buddhism, like me, she enjoys all aspects of cultural things. People like that are just so cool.

Not only fascinating Buddhist statues from various ancient periods and breath-takingly beautifully carved jades blew me away, the discussions took place between me and my coworkers made the experience 10 times better than if I went alone. Since many items did not have detailed descriptions(you have to get a audio guide or something), everytime we saw something interesting, we discussed what we thought their purpose of use was. I really enjoyed their company. So glad they came along. Can't wait to go with them again.

Anyways, take a look of these jades if you like.
http://www.capitalmuseum.org.cn//js/yq.htm

Our company organized a ski tour on this Saturday. I'll let you know how that went too. It'll be my first time to ski.

Merry Christmas to everyone!

What I Want

I want a boyfriend, a husband, a life-long partner, a family, a beloved kid, a home, pets, and everything that comes with the word "marriage." I've never wanted this whole set as much I do now.

I admire happily married couples. I admire their life and their happiness. Marriage makes us feel whole and completed. I believe so.

I'm telling myself everyday that soon my wish will be fulfilled. I know it will but it may take time. Sometimes I can't wait to see this happen. But all goodness of life doesn't come easy. Patience, patience, and more patience. That used be something I was never good at. Now, I'm still not so patient. But I'm trying to be calmer and more enduring.

A happy marriage is what I want in life more than anything. I don't care about work or anything else. A happy marriage is the base of all other things in life. I think so. Especially for women.

May my wish and hope be fulfilled...

and so are yours...

Positive Thoughts

According to this book I'm reading(Happy for No Reason), saying positive things to yourself can make you much happier. It forces your brain to focus on positive thoughts. So here it goes.

1. Today is a beautiful day with a lot of sunshine and a cleared sky.

2. Tomorrow boss is going to have a talk with me regarding some prolems at work. I can explain myself very well and I will be okay. It won't be a big deal anyway. The worst thing could happen is for me to quit the job. But there will be better opportunities out there waiting for me. I've got ABSOLUTELY nothing to worry about.

3. The world is always on my side. Everyone loves me.

4. I love the world as well. I love everyone. Everyone is friendly and kind to me. So am I to them.

6. My wish(secret) will be fulfilled very soon.

7. I made time for singing this morning. I will keep it up. I'm thinking of looking for a teacher to learn how to sing. I love to sing.

That's it for now. Good luck to everyone who's reading this.
May your life filled with happiness.

Honest Scrap

10 honest things about myself:

1. I wish I didn't have to grow up in Japan. It was a nightmare.

2. I do not like Japan. (Trying to let this go though. On the other hand, Japanese food is my favorite. I also appreicate a lot of things about Japan. Nothing is completely bad or completely good.)

3. Ever since our family emmigrated to Japan, all my life I'd tried to fit in. And I had never been successful. I was always an outsider.

4. I have some past I wish I could erase. I'm afraid they might affect my future somehow.

5. I wasted most of my teenage time by watching useless Japanese TV programs all day and all night long.

6. I used to be a hateful person. I used to be super paranoid(still a little now) thinking everyone hates me and taking things people said and did way too seriously.

7. I could only focus on others' bad personalities intead of their good.(I'm better now.)

8. I am a Buddhist. Buddhism seesm to be the only way that I can get over my miseries and lead me to a happy life.

9. I appreciate my cousin and her husband who are letting me stay with them, who don't say much about me but always paying attention to me, who will be there whenever I need them. I love their kid.

10. I love my life now. I have so much to look forward in the future. Thanks to Buddhism, to everyone who has supported me in every way. Thanks to my country where I can finally feel like being at home. I love here. I love being a Chinese. Thanks god that I'm finally going to the right direction. I believe it's never too late.

Hello bloggers

I'm out of my mind these days. Full time job + translation job every night, sometimes even in the morning before I go to work, and of course on weekends. No time to relax at all. And I don't get to sleep enough from time to time because I'm sleeping in the living room. Kid cries at night, I wake up. Cousin't husband stays up late....means I'll have to stay up late. Someone gets up early in the morning... means I wake up early too. And it's extra busy at work because someone had to take a few days off unaccounced to anybody! How is that possible?

Well, I'm complaining. I know it's not good. So I tried to tell myself positive things this morning. I can take a break soon with the part-time translation work anyway. (Although there's still something coming up soon.)

There was a good surprise at work yesterday though. The company gave me a book called "Happy for No Reason, 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out" for my birthday(although it's kind of late by more than a week). It's almost like they knew what I wanted and what I've been working on. It's the Chinese version. I started reading right away. Seems to be a good one which topped a few sales ranking. Although it's only a present given to everyone in the company for their birthdays, it did make me happy.

Anyways, I missed blogging and wanted to say hello. Hope everyone is doing well.

Life is good no matter what. It all depends on how to perceive it.

Emotional Breakdown

I didn't expect it at all. It just happened. My emotion got carried away by someone's ridiculous comments about my behavior. Not just someone. The people who I'm staying with, my relatives. And their comments were about NOTHING. The least important thing I can think of in this whole world! But I got carried away. I reacted. I hurt them and myself. Then I couldn't come back from there. It happened last night. And I'm still crying over this stupid thing.

I'm feeling a little bit pressure these days for this translation job I took besides my full-time job. I'm a bit behind schedule, and I lost some data of the work I've already done! I was frustrated. It was the worst timing. Really.

I cursed...in my mind...the worst words I could think of. I've been trying to be positive. Exercises, affirmation statements, be thankful to others, be cheerful, be happy... All those good stuff has been helping me a great deal. But last night, I felt everything went backwards. I felt all walls were caving to me. Over the STUPIDEST thing ever. That's what bothers me the most.

I felt I've been walking on a thin line. Then some mean person gave me a little push, and I just fell into hell. I wasn't strong enough to hold up. I kept falling deeper and deeper. I wish I were already that strong and clever since that's what I've been working on. I guess it'll take some more time.

Please stay away from negative people as far as you can. Stay with the positive ones. Even if you don't talk to them, just by the atmosphere they project can affect you in a positive way. My cousin and her husband are the real positive ones. I love to spend time with them.

Anyways, thanks for reading. Thanks to blogging that gives me somewhere to release my frustration.

I'll be okay soon. Next time, I'll learn how to put my emotion aside and react in a clever way. I'm on the path of learning. I know all I need is more time. I know I'll be able to accomplish it someday. Don't let others' negativity affect you. You're the only one who's responsible for your own emotions. Don't let small things bother you. They're nothing at all compared to your goal and your hope for the future. When I calm down, I can see it. Actually I knew all that time, but I still couldn't control myself. My emotion just took over me completely. It was a bit scary...

Anyway, wish you all a good weekend. I will have to work on my translation project, but I'll try to be happy.

Treat everyone as you want to be treated... Be tough-minded, but tender hearted...

"Monsters" -- Do Not Hold me Back

Hi all. It's been a whlie since last time I wrote. I've missed blogging.

My cousin's son was sick. When he's sick, I know we're all likely to get sick too. I've been careful since last time I got virus from him. But I still couldn't avoid it. I almost threw up in the train the other day. That was scary. I wouldn't possibly accept that fact how embarrassing that would be for me.

I had a day off yesterday and was sleeping all day. I'm feeling much better today.

For some reason, my cousin's baby always wakes up in the middle of the night(right before dawn) and cries. As usual, I was woken up by his cries the other night and had a hard time going back to sleep. Then some of my bad memories flashed back to my mind for no reason at all. Almost like a nightmare. Sometimes, I feel like those memories are like monsters trying to hold me back while I'm trying move on. I can be very happy at a time, but I don't know when those monsters come back to haunt me and destroy my current life. It's that kind of feeling. I wish they would just disappear. I want to move on. I don't wanna look back. I want them to leave me alone.

Someone has said that one's past is one's future. I hope it won't be the case. I want a brighter future than my past.

Well, actually it's not that much a big deal as it may sound. Usually those "monsters" are quiet as long as I keep myself busy. Fortunately, I am busy right now.

Other than that, I keep doing my physical exercises and affirmation statements every morning. I'm happy with them. Now I feel I need them. If I didn't do them one day, I feel something is missing and different. For my reading exercises(affirmation statements), I've added "37 Practices of a Bodhisattva." My fellow blogger Norbu introduced to the Chinese version of this piece, and I loved it since the first time I read it. Thank you so much Norbu!

(You can refer to this website for the English version: http://www.kbi.com.au/cgi-bin/engine.pl?Page=page.html&Rec=69)

You all have a great week!